Friday, September 22, 2017

Diary - Being a Girlfriend


I've been thinking of myself, since my transformation, as bisexual, or at least biromantic.  And I would still say that I am.  But I wonder if I would feel the same way if I were in a lesbian relationship.  A lesbian relationship is a meeting of equals.  A straight relationship is different.  Being a girlfriend is different than being a boyfriend. and I love the special feeling of being a man's girlfriend.  I wonder if I would lose that if I were in a relationship with another woman.

This doesn't change who I'm attracted to, so I would still call myself bi.  But I think realizing this does change what kind of relationship I would want to be in.

It's fun to think about being with another woman.  But maybe I should stick with men.

For now, I'll stick with my man. :)

~Kristen

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Miss Doubtfire 15


Turning into someone else would lead to all sorts of awkward circumstances, but this has to be one of the most awkward: accidentally finding out how other people really feel about you.

~Kristen

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

The Voyeur


As I was doing a little research for this caption, I discovered that voyeurism, even so-called "video voyeurism," is not actually explicitly illegal in much of the country.  That seems crazy to me.  As someone who values her privacy rather highly, I find that kind of creepy.

So, uh, let's assume, I suppose, that Charlie lives in a state where it is illegal.

~Kristen.

Diary - The Shoulder


My boyfriend's sexy shoulder portrait.

I wanted to bring J. to that big family party I went to over the weekend, but it felt too soon.  It was too soon, right?

I'm so new to all of this.

~Kristen

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Humans of the Great Shift - Brett


Being fetishized is not fun.  People are people; they're messy and complicated and unique, and reducing people to a race or a quirk of their personality, or their gender status in the case of trans people, ignores that beautiful complexity.  Treat people as people.

~Kristen

Diary - My Cousin Heather


Here's where I talked about Heather before.

There was some dancing at the party last night, and for the first time ever, I joined in.  I always used to join people when they danced in this reality, apparently; people have been asking me, since my transformation a year ago, why I never dance anymore.  The reason, of course, is that, until recently, I didn't know how to dance.  I don't actually have the experience or the actual legitimate honest-to-god ballet training that my female self has.

But now that I'm taking this dance class, I'm feeling a little more confident, and so I joined in.  And I'm so glad I did.  It was fun. :)

~Kristen

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Miss Doubtfire 13


I badly need to do some housekeeping stuff for my blog.  I have about two months worth of series I need to add to my series page, and I have some stuff I want to straighten out with the tags I use on some of my older posts.

But not tonight.  Party tonight.

~Kristen

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Unmentioned


Diary - In Poor Taste


Me looking terribly ladylike.

This all raises interesting questions, by the way, about how much of me is in this body.  I've been assuming that, in essence, I have my own brain but Kristen Bell's body.  That's an oversimplified way of looking at things, though.  There's more continuity between the brain and the body than we're accustomed to thinking.  The brain is not a discrete thing; it's part of the nervous system, and the nervous system runs through the entire body.

Taste buds are part of the nervous system.  So are pain receptors, which would affect my tolerance for spicy food.  So, while I have my own memories and personality, I must have inherited at least part of Kristen Bell's nervous system.  Which makes me wonder where exactly the line between my brain and her nervous system is.

How much of me is still me, and how much is... her?  I'm trying not to think too much about it, but this question keeps creeping back into my head.  It's... unsettling.

~Kristen

Monday, September 11, 2017

The Verdant Path


This is an odd caption for me to write, for two reasons: I don't usually like to write captions about characters this young, and I don't like identity death.  This is an evocative image, though, and this is the story it wanted to tell.

~Kristen

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Miss Doubtfire 10


You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Diary - Two Months


Also.  I've decided to go by the name Kristen, even here.  I still identify more with the name Heather, but everyone out in the real world knows me as Kristen now.  There's no point in fighting that.  So, in the name of accepting this new version of my life... you can call me Kristen.

~Kristen

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Humans of the Great Shift - George


I had hay fever in my old body.  I don't in this one, thankfully.  While I would certainly be annoyed if I got my allergies back, I don't think I would be as unhappy as George here.

I worked outdoors for a year.  That was... fun.

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Miss Doubtfire 8


I encountered this problem in reverse those two weeks when looked like Jennifer Aniston.  Age regression and age progression are popular within TG fiction, but there's more to becoming a person of a different age than I think we tend to acknowledge (and I include myself when I say "we.")  We tend to reduce age changes to "I'm 21 again!  I can party now!"or "I'm 70 years old.  My back hurts." or "I became my teenage daughter.  I have to go back to school."  But there's more to it than that.  Age cohorts have shared cultural references, shared slang, a shared outlook on the world.  And there are different rules about how people of different ages are expected to speak, dress, and behave.  Unless you want to look like a hopelessly out-of-touch young person or a hopelessly immature older person, you need to learn about the culture of the age cohort you're trying to fit into and the expectations placed on a person of that particular age.

Pretending I'm a 37-year-old woman when I'm supposed to be 35 isn't difficult.  But pretending to be a 48-year-old when I was Jennifer Aniston(ish) was tough.

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Diary - Frozen


This is kind of the perfect image for my life over the last year, actually.  In the sense that I share a story with Elsa and a voice with Anna, this image shows the woman I was before my transformation and the woman I've become, together and linking arms.

This movie has so many layers! :P

Sunday, September 3, 2017

A New Substance


Sometimes I find an image that immediately tells a story.  Those are typically the easiest captions to write.

~Heather

Diary - Family Reunion


I know I'm not supposed to wear white after Labor Day, though I don't really know why.  So I squeezed this white dress in two days before Labor Day.  Woo!  Flirting with danger.  I'm a daredevil.

~Heather

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Miss Doubtfire 6


I don't drink alcohol, for complicated reasons that I won't get into here. I do, however, understand addiction and the desire to escape from uncomfortable feelings.

~Heather

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Friday, September 1, 2017

Humans of the Great Shift - Jim


I can't take credit for this idea.  It was suggested by a fellow caption-writer. :)

~Heather

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Miss Doubtfire 5


I don't have a lot of experience with children.  I did my best to write Noah, but I don't know if I got him right.

~Heather

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Diary - Someone Else's Scars


It's strange to think that my body has given birth, even if I myself have not, especially given my complicated feelings about motherhood.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Miss Doubfire 4


I wanted Catherine to be a sympathetic character, but Laura Linney's character in The Nanny Diaries is not terribly likeable.  She's also much wealthier than Catherine is supposed to be.  I had to select the images I used for Catherine carefully.

~Heather

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Miss Doubtfire 3


Moving forward, most of the images in this series will be from The Nanny Diaries, which I've only watched for the purpose of making this series.  It's kind of a frustrating movie; there were some clever touches and intriguing storytelling techniques and interesting plot hooks that were introduced early in the film and then just sort of dropped, which made the movie feel a little disjointed and the plot feel a little anticlimactic.


Presumably, the character from this caption spent some time as Scarlett Johansson's character from The Nanny Diaries.  Does that make this a sort of crossover?

~Heather

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Diary - Perceptions


I thought of this diary post after uploading this.

I wanted to know if other women who've changed their hair color--presumably by dyeing their hair, not through the rather extraordinary means by which I've changed mine--so I've looked around a bit online.  I've found many, many stories from women who've observed the same thing I have... that they're perceived as more approachable but less intelligent with blonde hair than with brown or black hair.  There are even scientific studies that back this up, in which they used photo editing software to see if the same face would be perceived differently with a different hair color.

So strange.
`
This is one aspect of living in this body, by the way, that I absolutely do not like.

Friday, August 25, 2017

Miss Doubtfire 2


"...who dyed her blonde hair brown in order to be taken more seriously by her peers."

I wrote this in June, before I knew I would soon become a blonde woman myself.  I can now vouch for the fact that hair color has an impact on how people, strangers especially, see you.

~Heather

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Humans of the Great Shift - Ashia


I occasionally write captions like this, about transwomen who, through some deus ex machina or another, get the bodies of ciswomen.

Those captions always feel a little bit more personal to me, for obvious reasons.

~Heather

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Miss Doubtfire 1


I'm wearing my influences on my sleeve even more than I usually do with this series.  (Though I actually didn't realize that I was using the name William for a character portrayed by Robin Williams until I'd almost finished writing this series.  I just picked the name because I thought this guy looked like a William, without reflecting on why that might be...)

I haven't watched Mrs. Doubtfire since the mid-90s, so this will not be a direct adaptation of that movie; rather, it's based on the general premise, with a magical twist.  I hope everyone enjoys it. :)

~Heather

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Diary - Mandela Effect Revisited


I'm basically trolling you guys at this point with this picture...

This is a picture of me from Halloween a few years ago.  I was supposed to be a vampire.  I was wearing a wig as part of the costume, which is why I had brown hair; I was still blonde beneath the wig.  It's much sexier and more revealing than anything I would normally wear... but I guess that's kind of the point of Halloween, isn't it?  To be someone you're not.

I wore this costume in my previous reality, too.  I didn't have to wear a wig, though, since my hair was naturally this color.  Maybe, if I ever make it back to that reality, I'll share pictures.

Here, by the way, is my previous caption about the Mandela Effect.

~Heather

Monday, August 21, 2017

Beat the Heat Finale



And thus ends Beat the Heat.  I hope this is a satisfying ending to the series. :)

I kind of wish I could go back and fill in the missing months.  I enjoyed these characters, even if I let this series fall to the side.  No promises, but... maybe I'll revisit them someday, in some form.

Up next: a longish, character-driven Altered Fates series. :)

~Heather

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Beat the Heat 31


It was surprisingly difficult to find an appropriate picture for this.  Anna Kendrick doesn't smile much in her movies or her photo shoots.  She smiles on the red carpet, but a red carpet picture wouldn't really work for this caption.

Anna Kendrick seems like a bubbly, smiley person to me, so I wouldn't have thought it would be that difficult.

~Heather

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Friday, August 18, 2017

One Week Later




Diary - Tropical Triangulation


Don't ask me why there are a bunch of rubber duckies in the pool, by the way; they were there when I got there.  I think someone was having way too much fun.

~Heather

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Beat the Heat 30


Beat the Heat had problems, even aside from the fact that I couldn't keep up with it.  I didn't have enough ideas to sustain the story for an entire year.  I struggled to find ways to keep the series going.  There was nothing especially interesting about the series itself; it was a pretty straightforward Bikini Beach story.  While I still think it was an interesting idea to try to tell a story in real time, I think I needed more to work with.  More characters, more conflicts, more plot twists than where inherent in the scenario that I'd set up.

There were also pacing issues.  One of the central ideas of the series was that Luis and Cameron's attitude toward their transformation would flip over the course of the series; Luis would start out intrigued by being a woman, but would come to hate it, while Cameron would hate it at first, then discover he loved being a woman.  I think I had them flip too early in the series, though.  Their character arcs were essentially over by the time I'd abandoned the series in January.

Both these problems--the pacing issues and the lack of ideas--might have been solved had I planned the series out in advance.  While I had an ending in mind, I was making up everything in the middle as I went, which made it difficult to come up with major plot developments and appropriately time out the important character and story beats.

On another note, this a subplot I'm kind of disappointed I didn't have a chance to explore in much depth.  Luis despises his coworker Connor, a cheerful idiot who overshadows Luis at work simply because he's a man, but finds himself falling in love with Connor in spite of himself.  Luis would have hid his relationship with Connor from Cameron/Cassie out of embarrassment.  I think it could have led to some fun, funny captions, but I never quite got around to revealing Luis's relationship with Connor.

~Heather

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.