Sunday, January 22, 2017

Going Full-Time


As a teenager, and on into college, I thought of myself as a crossdresser.  In addition to lurking on transformation-themed sites like Fictionmania, I occasionally visited crossdressing sites.  I couldn't really identify with the crossdressers I found online, though.. their motives, their experiences, their understanding of their crossdressing, did not match mine.  And as compelled as I was to wear women's clothing, when I did dress as a woman, I didn't feel the pleasure, or the release, or the arousal, or the calmness, that I expected to feel.  It puzzled me.

At last I discovered a community of transsexual people online, and I found that I could fully identify with their feelings and experiences, which were very different from those of the crossdressers I'd come across.  That was when I realized that I was transsexual, not a crossdresser, and that being transsxual and being a crossdresser were two very different things.

Women's clothing is fun, and it's a nice way to express myself, and it helps me feel more feminine.  But I didn't just want to wear women's clothing before my transformation.  I wanted to be a woman.

Also, twirling around in a flowy skirt is delightful. :)

3 comments:

  1. My god. You just perfectly captured the absolute joy and elation I associate with my desire of being a woman and imagining it becoming a reality.

    Thank you so much for another great caption Swapgirl. :)

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  2. Thank you for this. I feel the exact same way. It's comforting to know that the confusion and unease are somewhat confirmation of being trans rather than just plain confusion and unease.

    We also arrived at similar conclusions. A simplistic way I differentiated myself from cross dressers before was that when they dressed, they seemed happy; when I dressed, I felt sad - I just didn't have the body to match the clothes.

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  3. I am 70 and have known since I was 8 that my body was male but my soul and brain were female. I fought myself for the love of family. I have lived as a female at home for 2 years I can't hide anymore. I am beginning transition and hope to find a surgeon who will fix my body soon. Never too late to be who you are.

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