Friday, July 28, 2017

Raiders of the Lost Remote 6

When I first thought of the idea of this series a year ago, I wanted to give each installment of the series a separate name based on the movie it riffed on.  So, instead of the entire series being named Raiders of the Lost Remote, there would be a couple of captions named that, then a couple named"Rick [Whateverhislastnameis] and The Remote of Doom," and a couple named "Rick [DidIgivehimalastnameIdon'tremember] and The Last Remote," etc.  It would have worked well for the sporadic sort of series I was imagining, but it doesn't work as well when I'm releasing the series every other day.  Thus, it's all titled Raiders of the Lost Remote.


You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Diary - Have I Been Here Before?

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Raiders of the Lost Remote 5

Rick is totally sequence breaking here.  He's trying to appeal to Indy by talking about events that don't happen until after the end of Raiders, which takes place more than a year after Temple of Doom.  But, you know, he's not thinking clearly.

Temple of Doom is so dark.  And so racist, and so violent, and so difficult to watch at times.  There are good things about it, but there's a reason it was everyone's least favorite Indiana Jones movie before Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came out.


You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Diary - Hallucinations

Does anyone see a brunette woman in this picture?  Anyone at all?

I guess not, huh?  That's how hallucations work.  I see a brunette woman, and you see a blonde woman.

Why won't she go away?


Monday, July 24, 2017

Raiders of the Lost Remote 4

I've written a lot of strange love stories for this blog; TG fiction kind of lends itself to that.  But this is probably one of the strangest I've written.


You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Diary - Anger

Friday, July 21, 2017

Fire in the Ashen Lands

This caption is built on one of the concepts I introduced in The Noob: the idea that, in Arlayne, magic is powered by emotion.

I would be a super-powerful arch-sorceress if I were in Arlayne right now.


Diary - The Truth

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Raiders of the Lost Remote 1 and 2 (Repost)

Some of you may recognize these captions.  I've posted them before... just over a year ago, coincidentally.  (That was totally an accident, I swear.)

I've always meant to follow these captions up; I thought it might be fun to follow Rick as he jumped from Indiana Jones movie to Indiana Jones movie to be with the man he loved.  I never got around to writing those captions. But a few months ago, I was running  perilously low on captions, and I needed a story that was simple and easy to write and kind of dumb, something I could put together quickly, and I thought of these captions, and the story I still wanted to tell.

This is going to be a niche series.  Magic Remote captions always are, I guess.  I hope it will be interesting, though.  I think it interacts with the Indiana Jones movies, in some fun ways.  And who knows... I posted a Star Wars caption a few months ago that got a really good response.  Maybe this will go over better than I think.

This is not High Art.  It won't appeal to everyone.  People who've never seen the Indiana Jones movies may be lost.  This series will be spread out over 13 posts; if it doesn't interest you, you can check back in about a month, and hopefully you'll find something more appealing.  The series I'm writing right now is a good character piece, I think.  There's some more high-minded work coming up.  But for now, let's just have some fun. :)


You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Diary - Reaching Out

I'm sorry, everyone.  I'm sorry I've put you through so much.  I'm sorry if I've scared you.  It's not fair to  you.  Thank you for your support.

Something's wrong with me.  Really, really wrong.  Way beyond the depression and anxiety I already knew I had.  I don't know if I'm going to get better.  I don't know if this is the kind of thing you get better from.  But I'm going to try.


Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Man the Barricades 12

And thus the darkest series I've ever written comes to a merciful end.  I've written some fairly violent and depressing series, but I believe this is the first one where every character of note dies and the plot ends in abject failure for the protagonist.  It's a rough story  to tell, and probably to read.  But these kinds of stories need to be told, too.

Come back Thursday for a series as frivolous as this one was grim.  I think you need a break from heavy-handed, self-important series; I know I do, given everything that's going on in my  life right now.  So, coming up next, I have a quirky love story set in the Magic Remote universe.

You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Diary - Happy Birthday to Me

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Diary - Man the Barricades 11

This is the next-to-last chapter of Man the Barricades.

I don't think it's going to end well.


Diary - Birthday Dinner

I have a feeling this is going to be my most awkward birthday ever.


Saturday, July 15, 2017

Humans of the Great Shift - DeShawn

Diary - Stupid Vegan Kristen Bell

It takes so much effort to learn to exist in a new body.  There are so many specific quirks  to each body that have nothing to do with biological sex.  I imagine that, if a version of me that had been born with this body had  woken up in mind, she would be having at least as much trouble as I am with this one.

Also, shout-out to any vegetarians and vegans reading this.  I really respect anyone who can forgo animal products.  I'm not that strong.

I've been reading a lot about Kristen Bell the last few days, and I've come to really admire her.  I've  always enjoyed her as an actress, but she also just seems like a really good person.


Friday, July 14, 2017

Man the Barricades 10

Recursive gender-bending is fun.

This scene was really the genesis of this story: I wanted to tell a story about a male agent in a female agent who has to dress like a man when his mission goes south.  Everything else in this story is basically built on that original concept.

The other goal I had while writing this series was showing a mission in which the Chrono Corps fails, in which everyone involved makes exactly the wrong decision.  The Chrono Corps has good intentions.  But sometimes they fail, and sometimes they even make things worse.

I'm having some connection issues, btw, so I'm queueing up about a week work of captions, just in case.  Trying to make sure things come out at the right time and on the right day, but it's tricky when I'm uploading so much at once.


You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Far From Home

This would be so terrifying.  The Great Shift would be frightening for anyone, but imagine waking up in a country on the other side of the world, where no one speaks the same language as you, where you can't communicate with the people around you, where you can't read any written material or even understand the news.  What would you do?  How would you move forward?


Diary - Strabismus

Clicky for an animated (!) diary caption.

Diary - Lookanotalike

I'm almost afraid to ask whether you guys think I look like Kristen Bell or not.  I know you saw the resemblance a couple of days ago... but I also know that things seem to be shifting.

Incidentally, I worry my blog is becoming less accessible to new readers by the day...


Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Man the Barricades 9

This, in fact, is what changed history.  I hate to state that outright; I would rather let my readers put the pieces together themselves.  But the caption series format doesn't really allow me to drop enough hints to communicate that it was Richard Collet's decision to sell the loyalists out that changed history.

Especially since, y'know, stuff has happened in the last couple of days to distract people from this story.


You can follow this and my other series on my series page.

Diary - The Woman in the Mirror

I've put that post from last night, the one where I talk about how I remember myself looking, in the links section on the sidebar.  I think it's important reference going forward... for you guys, and quite possibly for me.  I kind of feel like I'm going crazy... hopefully having that post at the ready will keep my grounded.

Also... I'm working on putting together a secondary blog.  I've been flooding you guys with so many posts about my personal life, and I feel guilty about that.  I think it will be useful to have a space where I can talk about this bizarre life of mine from a different perspective.


Diary - My Name is... Kristen?

I've stopped marking these captions as "Randomizer".  This is my new normal now.  I can't mark every diary caption I write for the rest of time as Randomizer captions.  If I ever change again, I'll probably whatever captions  I write then as Randomizer captions, but for now... these are just diary captions.

~Heather.  (My name is Heather, goshdarnit, whatever anyone else thinks.)

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Diary - How I Remember Myself

Thanks to those of you who answered my survey.  The results are in, and they have... complicated things.

Mia Berson says I've always been blonde, and that, even in my old captions, which to my eyes show a brunette woman, I look like a blonde woman who looks like Kristen Bell.  Celebswap also chimed in, and it looks like he also remembers me as a blonde woman.  An anonymous commenter yesterday also said I've always been blonde.  Lee, on the other hand, remembers me as a brunette woman.

So there's some dissent; Lee remembers me the way I remember myself.  But most of you apparently remember me the way the rest of the world remembers me now, as a blonde woman.  And most of you seem to see me as a blonde woman even in my old captions.

So... I guess here's where I have to ask you all to hear me out.  I remember myself as a brunette woman  who... okay.  I'll admit it.  I looked a little like that actress Mariella Beth Winston or whatever her name is.  (But just a little.)  I've put a picture of the woman I used to be, clipped from an old caption, in this post.  It's more to remind myself what I used to look like than to convince any of  you, because I know now that most of you probably see a blonde woman when you look at this picture.

And here's where the begging starts.  You all know that I used to be biologically male, but that reality changed such that I was born female.  You've all been willing to believe me that far, as crazy as it sounds.  And you all know that Celebswap used his Randomizer a few weeks ago, and I became a clone of Jennifer Aniston.  You believed me when I told you that.  So you know that transformation, gender changing, reality changing, they're all real.

So now I need you to believe me when I say that reality has been altered again.  That's why you remember me as a blonde woman.  But I didn't used to look this way, just like a year ago I wasn't biologically female at all.  Your memories have been changed to reflect this new reality, the same way the memories of everyone I've ever met were altered a year ago to reflect the fact that I had become a woman.

I hope I've earned your trust enough that you'll believe me.

For those of you who remember me as a brunette woman, and especially if you see a brunette woman even when you look at pictures of me now (the same way people who think I've always been a blonde woman apparently see that blonde woman when they look at my old captions)... reality has changed, and now I've apparently always looked like Kristen Bell.  I have no idea why.  But it's becoming more and more clear that I need to find out.

I'll be writing more about what it's like to be in this body over the coming days.  For those of you who think I've always  looked this way, please bear with me.  This body is new to me, even if it's not new to you.  I need to process this.

Part 9 of Man the Barricades will have to wait; this is more important.  I'll put it up tomorrow.  I promise.

Diary - An Urgent Survey

(tl;dr I've written up some important questions in bold at the bottom of this post.  But, if you're going to answer my questions, please do read the rest of this post so you know why I'm asking them.)

Oh dear.  I've been reading through your comments from yesterday... apparently some of you think I've always looked like a blonde woman.  You don't remember me ever looking like a brunette.  I really started to worry late last night that that might be the case.  Everyone I've talked to so far remembers me as a blonde woman.  Why wouldn't you guys?

Before I can go forward with this blog--or at least with my diary captions--I need to know how you guys remember me.  So I need you guys to answer some questions for me.

At the top of this post, you'll see two pictures side-by-side.  The picture on the left is how I remember myself looking.  I took this picture a few weeks ago, and I used it for the caption where I told you guys my real name.  Unfortunately, while this image still exists on my hard drive, it now shows me as a blonde woman, so I couldn't use the original; I had to crop this image out of the aforementioned caption.  The image on the right, meanwhile, shows me as I look now; I took it just a few minutes ago.

Which of these two women do you remember me looking like?  Do you remember me as the brunette woman on the left or the blonde woman on the right?

If you remember me as a blonde woman, then what do you make of my old diary captions, the ones where I look like a brunette woman?  Do you think I took them down and replaced all the old pictures with some random other woman?  (Oh God, I hope no one accuses me of stealing pictures from Mary Elizabeth Winstead.  I DO NOT LOOK LIKE MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD.)

Maybe there's some kind of perception filter going on.  Maybe, if you remember me as a blonde woman, then you see me as a blonde woman in my old pictures, even when I look at those same pictures and see a brunette woman.  Maybe you're looking at the pictures at the top of this post and thinking, "Wait, don't those both show the same person?  Why is she saying one if them is brunette?"

And, okay, yet another question.  I've talked to some people in real life, and none of them think I look anything like Kristen Bell... even though I totally do, right?  They think I've always looked like I look now, but they don't see any resemblance between me and Kristen Bell.

So... okay.  The questions I need you to answer, I guess.  Do you remember me being blonde or brunette?  If you think I've always been blonde, then I guess the second question would be, do you see the woman on the left as a blonde woman or a brunette woman?  (That gets at the perception filter question.)  And if you see her as a brunette woman... why do you think I replaced the pictures in all my old captions with pictures of a brunette woman?  And for everyone: do you think I look like Kristen Bell?

Sorry... I hope that doesn't sound confrontational.  I just need to understand what you guys remember and what you see so I know how to talk to you moving forward.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Diary - WTF 8

I'm sorry for spamming you guys with a billion diary captions today.  And I'm sorry for freaking out.  This has been the strangest day of my life since... well, I guess since my first transformation.  It's been... an emotional day.

Thank you, as always, for reading.  It's wonderful to know I have some cheerleaders out there to help me through days like this.


Diary - WTF 7

Hmm... the picture on my library page still shows me, too.

Maybe... maybe it's that everything I've put in this blog has remained unchanged?  My old captions, the picture on my library page, I uploaded all that stuff through Blogger.  But I published my profile picture through Google+; Blogger just pulls it from my Google+ account.  So maybe that's why it's the only thing on my blog that's changed to reflect this new version of reality.

It doesn't explain why my blog is apparently magic.  But it must be a clue of some kind.


Diary - WTF 6

Intellectualizing is my go-to coping mechanism.

I'm tagging all these diary captions "Randomizer," because seriously, that HAS to be what's causing all of this... right?

By the way, I'm probably not putting up a Humans of the Great Shift caption today.  Just so you know.  I'm... kind of busy right now.  I'll try to get the next part of Man the Barricades up tomorrow.  If I can.  Just... I need some time to digest this.


Diary - WTF 5

Diary - WTF 4

I... may have gotten distracted while I was getting dressed earlier.

I don't feel guilty about it.  For the moment, at least, this is my body, and I need to know what it looks like, how it works.  I wasn't investigating my body for cheap thrills.  Part of the deal with living in a body is that you need to know about the body you're living in.


Diary - WTF 3

I work from home, and I have a super-flexible schedule.  That''s convenient for a day like today, when I need the time and space to figure this out.  I should probably be working today, but... yeah.  I wouldn't be able to concentrate.